Postlude Paradox

     The biggest hurdle that I seem to have to leap over seems to be that of dealing with myself.  Yes, everyone has conflicted feelings about identity and stuff, but the hardest thing for me is dealing with the trait of selfishness-- arrogance, vanity, self-centeredness, hubris-- all included.  Contrary to popular belief, not all missionaries are happy-go-lucky beings people who just love to help people-- they're supposed to be, but we're human, too.

     Selfishness is the bane of a collective society.  It's also the capital of societal progress.  To be prideful, arrogant, and boastful may not puff a positive connotation, but replaced with words like, individualistic, unique, and set-apart, the feeling changes-- the definition doesn't.  The feeling that grips my soul, blotching a giant black spot in my heart has definitely hard for me-- the purpose of a Latter-day Saint's missionary service is to "lose his life for my [Jesus'] sake" so that one may find it (Matthew 16:25).  A mission has definitely scrubbed off a sizeable portion of that dark stain, but it still shows.

     Once you do all that you've ever wanted to do and there's nothing else really to do, that's when one  can discover a true sense of selflessness.  It may come earlier for some rather than for others, but through it can society can get along.

Selflessness is an end result of the battle that selfishness proclaims victory over your mind.

     Aforementioned, a big part of spiritual growth, maturity comes from losing yourself versus keeping yourself.  As God has made us into progressive entities-- people who have to learn, develop and grow-- we must come to realize how that can be.  Slowly, progressively, we must learn to hit the point when we learn to become charitable.  At the same time, we cannot mature without such a trait.  A paradoxical flaw, it was meant to be so that we may be closer to becoming whole.

Selflessness = peace
Selfishness = progress

"Oh Lord, my God!"

     Footsteps clamor on the wooden staircase of the two-story Carthage jail.  Absurdly-dressed men, superficially discontent with their once beloved, rush the large wooden door separating them and the inhabitants thereof.  Shots go off.  With a bangs and pops, intertwined with profanity, four men, on the other side of that door push back the door, the impending death awaiting.

Depiction

     The firearms slip through the doorway.  The eagerly evil group of men release their flintlocks, igniting a hue of black smoke, propelling those lead shots into the direction of that room; many more come from the opposite direction-- from the window adjacent.

     "I am a dead man!"

     Shouts of shock.  Cries of help.  Panics of peril.  The four inhabitants of that room were then overpowered by these disgruntled men-- the mens' target, the "infamous" Joseph Smith, had attempted sanctuary, leaping toward the only exit remaining.

     Four shots having penetrated his body, the prophet Joseph Smith had fallen down those two stories, having cried the words:

     "Oh Lord, my God!"

     His dead or dying body now vulnerable to the mob members below, these people aimed to take him and disgrace him, even unto death.

     "The Mormons are coming!"

     The retreating cry of the mob members scurried frighteningly away at the news, leaving the dead bodies of Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum, and the wounded, affrighted souls of two others, laying around Carthage jail.  In a matter of less than twenty minutes after the charge, hell had indeed broken loose.

Memorial

     Set June 27, 1844, four somewhat ordinary citizens of Nauvoo, Illinois were molested by the wrath of disgruntled townsfolk.  With the death of the very first church leader of the Latter-day Saints, it had sealed a testimony of his work.  The influence of God upon him and his followers are evidently shown through the events that had ensued.  A legacy left behind, Joseph Smith had influenced tens of thousands at the time-- millions, following.

Praise to his mem'ry, he died as a martyr; 

Honored and blest be his ever great name! 

Long shall his blood, which was shed by assassins, 

Plead unto heav'n while the earth lauds his fame.

     This year marks the 161st anniversary of this event.  Let it be known that if this man was not called of a higher deity, the Church would not have been true.  The Church would not have had a priesthood.  The Church would not have had an anointed servant of the Lord guide it.  The church would not have had 141+ temples in operation.  The church would not have been a major influence in domestic and international affairs of the world.  Praise to the man.  Praise unto God.

One More Time with Feeling

     It's been a while since anything new has been put up here.  It doesn't mean that I completely stopped writing up new things, but it does mean that I was busy for quite a while.  A lot of stuff has gone that, quite frankly, made it almost impossible to think and create.  Still, though, there may be occasional posts here and there, but as for now, I may be lessening my activity.  In that case, there are a few words I'd like to add-- just random, but sentimental stuff.


     This blog was created to help others come unto Jesus Christ.  Still, with the amount of content in it, there should be a few that fulfills that role.  As for all of it, I'll be honest, they didn't turn out too Christ-like.  Rather, a fire and brimstone-esque demeanor radiated from each word-- condemnation and disillusionment behind each metaphor and allegory.


     To those who have seen it that way and have been hindered or offended by what has been posted, I regret it-- I am sorry and if there comes a time where you would like something handwritten, please let me know.  My email is on the "My history" tab on the blog profile.  Send me a return address and expect something in the mail in the next week or so.


     Still, though, that does mean one thing-- although with this I may be all but through, it'll emerge with a non-missionary-related blog called "First Impressions."  Less gospel-oriented but more spreading happiness-oriented, it's a casual take on the things that make people... people.  Aesthetics in both an outer and an inner realm will be discussed and will be for the sake of making others happy and not necessarily a tool to bring others into the LDS Church.


     Thanks for the ride.  Still, through this, I have met some wonderful people and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.  As the things we go through are what makes the flames in the refiner's furnace, we'll come out okay in the end-- the world is a scary place, but with a big smile and God and a friend right next to you, anything is possible.


     So au revoir.  I'll still keep the posts up here.  With any questions and replies, I'll still reply.

Delinquency

     When you're on a mission, the first thing you have to do is to forget everything you've learned from the place where you received instructions for before leaving.  The rules outlined in a handbook are simply just "guidelines" to the missionaries.  It'll make life extremely difficult if you want to follow the rules-- you'll be labeled as a "goody-do-er," "not fun," "tattle-tale," and just negative labels-- it makes missionary work pretty hard.

     For the past year or so, it was like that-- constantly being picked on for being too upright about standards.  It got worse being around the missionaries who have been called English-speaking*-- no discipline and rampant rowdiness all over the place.  It was like walking midst middle-schoolers.  Now I understand that they haven't quite got the fact that the rules are in place for precautionary rather than for restrictive purposes; but to blatantly rebel against it was just unacceptable!  These people don't act like missionaries, period.

     Lock me up in a looney bin-- coat me with a strait jacket, too.  I've been going insane with so much hypocrisy going on.  Dying.  Decaying.  My mental state was deteriorating frighteningly fast.

     To those of you at work or even here in the mission field, it's stressful dealing with non-compliant people-- they don't follow the standards set in place.  Even worse, they think they're quite the chivalrous bunch-- they can't find fault in themselves, finding it for others!  Gossips spread fast, too.  So let me give you some pointers that'll help with such a seemingly hopeless situation:

You might be a perfectionist.

     I learned that the hard way-- this makes life unnecessarily difficult to those who want to do things by the books.  Although it says, many times, that perfection is to be sought for, perfectionism is to be avoided.  That comes from progressing yourself while looking back at others behind you in scorn.  

     "<sigh> I guess I'll have to clean up their mess."

     "Could you be any more stupid?"

     "Grow up!"

     "Why would you do that?"

     Let reality come back to you-- you're dealing with people who can make their own decisions.  This is something that isn't under anyone's control-- not even God.  Sure, God knows what his children will do long before they themselves, but He has no control over it.  One cannot dictate how another person should live his or her life-- coercion was never a principle preached by any religionist and moralist in good standing with society.

     Paul says that "his strength is made perfect in weakness" as he talks about the Atonement Jesus made for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We have to humble ourselves-- know that "there is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly becomes any of us to talk about the rest of us."

     As soon as you know this, feel free to sulk around a little bit, swallow some pride, and start reaching out-- lovingly.  These people may be below us when it comes to maturity or understanding, but the things will work out.  The path to perfection isn't a solo road-- it's a group effort!  Remember: look back and reach out.  These kids-- these people-- won't understand why certain principles have to be followed, but through kind and loving example, they can be made right-- an invitation to do good.  Waiting for them to change without doing anything on your part will only make life more miserable.

The Donkey and the Fence (ANECDOTE)

     There lived a heard of donkeys, living on a very, very large ranch.  They all got along with each other very well, grazing on the nice, green pasture in which they were roaming.  Their ranchers, who would supervise where they were to go, were nice fellows-- very caring and very responsible as they would take care of the donkeys.

     Every now and then, some of the donkeys in the ranch were taken out by these ranchers so they would give rides to visiting tourists.  As the donkeys were more or less docile in their countenances, this wasn't a big problem with extremely few incidents of bucking or kicking.  It was a good life for these donkeys.  The work they had to do wasn't at all difficult and they were very well taken care of-- plenty of food, space, and time.

     However, beyond the fences in which they were surrounded by, there lied an unknown world to these donkeys; it wasn't anything like the trails they took their tourists.  The donkeys had no idea what was out past those, bright, white picket fences.  With that in mind, some of the donkeys got very curious.

     "Hey, what do think might be out there?" a donkey asked another donkey.

     "Beats me, Paula, but I bet Josh over there knows!"

     These two donkeys went to Josh-- he was notorious for the injuries caused to the humans-- he was the most extreme case of bucking and kicking the ranch has ever seen.  He would attempt running away many times, only to be found and returned back to where he lived.  He was seldom taken out of the ranch for fear of hurting more people and running away.

     "Hey Josh, have you ever been past the fence before?" Paula asked.

     "Oh plenty," Josh bluffed.  "The trick is, you have to kick off five of the tourists riding on you-- then you'll get strong enough legs to jump the fence over and see it for yourself!"

     "Won't the ranchers see me?"

     "Don't worry about that!  Your legs'll be so strong, they won't even know you leapt the fence!"

     Intrigued, these donkeys were extremely interested in the fact that there was a world out there and there was means to get there!  A rather reasonable task, these donkeys began to talk amongst themselves and with the other donkeys in the ranch-- many thought it was amusing at first.  Time passed, though, and many of the donkeys began feeling unsatisfied of their living conditions, even though they were treated extremely well and with care.  The donkeys looked to Josh, who would frequently run away and thought "maybe he isn't all that crazy."

     Through the months, these donkeys have begun to buck and kick a rather large amount of people as they rode the tourists.  Several deaths amounted, but these donkeys hadn't given much care anymore.  They now were set on wanting out.  Perhaps there lied freedom to do whatever they could-- or even paradise.  As each had accomplished what was told of them, the donkeys began to leap over the fence.  Surprising enough, each donkey that had kicked and injured and killed the five or more tourists had leapt that fence with very little difficulty.  In single file, each would see what the other side had beheld.  Little did these donkeys knew that over that fence was a very steep cliff.

Counterculture part 2

      Let's go into theological law here for a second.  In a typical Christian church, there are twelve laws that all have to try to follow:

• Let God be your top priority (Exodus 20:3).
• Idolatry is very bad (Exodus 20:4).
• Deity is not to be mocked (Exodus 20:7).
• Worship God on the Sabbath (Exodus 20.8)
• Respect your parents (Exodus 20.12).
• Don't kill (Exodus 20:13).
• Don't canoodle with a woman that isn't your wife (Exodus 20:14).
• Thievery is condoned (Exodus 20:15).
• Lying is not good (Exodus 20:16).
• Acting upon jealousy is a sin (Exodus 20.17).
• Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind (Matthew 22:37).
• Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (Matthew 22:39).

     Yet most people don't seem to follow them as well as they can.  Many other Abrahamic religions such as Judaism and Islam have a book of laws (i.e. Talmud and Sharia respectively) that govern life so that one can live to be the best Jewish person or the best Muslim person God may want them to live.  There are rules and aphorisms for many of us to think about and apply to our own lives-- to be the decent human beings that we are.

     "Bigoted."
  
     "Chauvinistic pigs."
  
   "Narrow-minded."

     People come to disrespect the law-- other religions' laws.  Many become ashamed of their faiths and go down the deep end toward disillusionment.  Intolerance is a culture molded from a deep misunderstanding of one's own faith.  Many give up the faith after not being up to par with the laws in place and the people who slander them.

     Anarchy.  This religion-lacking population topples down the theological laws that have been put in place since the dawn of time-- a set of laws that each faith believes have been set by God Himself that cannot be compromised.  With that comes a contrast in "conservatism" and then "reform" flourishes**.

     As democracy is slowly filled with these secular men and women, there is much neglect in the theological laws that are put into place and the laws voted upon by the people are mostly those to advance those without such goals to benefit mankind-- sure, it may look like it, but the strife too often see among the religionists and the seculars result in a stalemate or an unappeasing compromise. For both sides.  Therefore, this low tolerance leads to a degradation of the purpose of democracy in the first place-- productivity goes down the drain and bickering jumps to uncomfortable proportions.

     Without applied theological law, socio-ethical law begins to weather away, as its foundation came from the very laws God has given us.

     When the people care more about their rights than their responsibilities, then you know that we're in trouble.

     See this pattern today?  Scared?  Angry?  Guilty?

     Here in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we do believe, like any other religious denomination, the belief that obedience [to God] will bring blessings regardless of its outcome.  It's a hard thing to do, but it's do-able.  We have the choice between doing so and reaping the long-term rewards thereafter or not doing so and suffering the consequences.

     Now, God doesn't expect us to follow ALL His commandments at once, but He asks us to improve each passing day.

     "Exact obedience means trying your best," I heard someone say.  It's true.  Because we're not perfect, every day is a learning and improving experience!

     "To be religious in this day and age means you have to sacrifice a lot of freedom and be persecuted by all the intellectuals out in the world," I hear.

     I'd like to take the example of one thing that Jesus pointed out to do-- a LOT.  That is to "love thy neighbor."   Regardless of situation or background, this is the one thing that is universally preached by all religionists.  It's hard to love people* who have wronged you and are different from you; however, it's possible.  Done properly, even if the other party may not be particularly fond of you, you will find that optimism and hope springs forth from a world filled with cynicism.

     I say that a lot-- that the world is cynical and mean, but it doesn't all have to be if we can go back to our roots!  Without religion, the world will not be able to function correctly.  Without pure Christianity, the world will not be as bent in loving others but loving the individual.

     The world* isn't a perfect place by far; it doesn't have to be.  We just need to make the choice to obey what God has instructed us to do.  This law is more universal than anything political-- those come and go, but God's law stays the same.  It has been given to us in this imperfect state that we may find joy-- not immediately, but over time.  To obey the [celestial] law in an ideal world means having utopia on Earth.  To obey the [celestial] law in an imperfect world means being that much closer to having utopia in the soul.



 *: "the world" and the general term for "people" refers to an assumption to mean citizens of the United States of America.  Much other parts of the world is unknown in the perspective of this peculiar person due to a lack of information, therefore not much argument or support can be backed up for them and their situation.
**: I do believe that many civil reforms were necessary for the advancement of society (e.g. the civil rights movement, the child labor reformation, the Catholic reformation (excluding the Inquisition), and many more.)

I may not be as informed as the majority of the American population about current events, but this opinion has arose from what I have seen over the days.

Human Nature (Digression)

     If you challenge someone like an atheist to live life without faith as your motivation for hope-- without depending on the knowledge that you'll go someplace else after you die, they'll definitely take it.  However, I say to that accepter of that challenge that he is completely nuts.  He already has a seed somewhere in his heart of a particular faith.  He turned atheist because he just wasn't satisfied with religion.  That in and of itself is a faith with its own set of rules and principles.

     Religion--faith-- is a weird yet very necessary thing.  Even in the dawn of time, man has had religion.  We humans are very peculiar creatures who rely on a very invisible entity to guide and direct us.  We are a social animal.  We are also a worshipping animal.  Evidently, it's in our nature to have religion, whatever it may be. 

     When you have it in your mind, even if it's just the remotest little knowledge of faith, life becomes bearable and hope can be seen.  Even if you're Hindu, Moslem, Wiccan, or anything else that involves a belief in something that cannot be seen, there's always a doctrine tied to a certain one of those creeds.  Those creeds enable us to see what is beyond the biotic life that we live right now.  It also enables us to be the type of people who don't have to succumb to the urges and yearnings of our body.  Taboos and cultural customs all have developed as a result of religion.

     If there happens to be a time in your life where you lost a loved one, got divorced, or something traumatic and painful, you need more than something physical to rely on.  Sure, you have your therapist and your drugs, but there comes a point in your life where you need more than things/people you can hold in your hands.  You need some of that invisible good stuff that can heal your aching soul.  Faith, no matter how significant and no matter how unknown, is ingrained deep inside the human soul. 

     Despair brings out a side of you that needs worship; a hope that a power much greater than you will correct your wrongs and continue your existence.  It enables also the hope that your significant other may be alright and that restitution may be possible on your part.  There will be a time in your life where such feelings will exist (if it hasn't already).  Life is tough and it requires more than just what you can see and touch.  Belief.  It's absolutely instrumental.

     I strongly believe in the inherent power of belief.  It has gotten me through the thick of life.  With a spiritual foundation in something that cannot be seen but feel, the confirmations of truth burning at the bosom have never felt so real.  On multiple occasions, there have been times where a warm feeling has overcome my soul, telling me that all will be well-- civility will rule over an uncivilized world.  This wasn't something I could explain, but I just knew that the feeling from such belief in such came from something much higher than me.  Without anything to hold on to, without a moral compass to guide you on your way, we are no better than animals.  We are no better than the actions we commit.

     So no matter who you are and what your background is, you're going to have to put faith in something to get you through the trials of life.  From God to wealth, it's all there for you to believe in.  However, a belief in God, the Eternal Father of our souls will get you farther in life than you've ever dreamed of.  We have Jesus Christ and also Joseph Smith to thank for that.

Keeper

     On the other side of the country is my family-- a group of people I can call home.  Although they may be scattered about in the east, I cannot deny the fact that they have shaped me into the person who I am.

     Of course, in that family are siblings-- brothers or sisters, we all love, despise or even neglect for five years or more.  They're there, whether we like them or not, and society revolves around how we put them in the grand equation that amounds to our life.

     Recently, through social media, I had stumbled upon mine own sibling for the first time in a year.  It's been some time now since I've physically seen him in person and even longer since I've actually talked to him.  It may be that over a year ago I've changed a lot or he has, or both, but it was appalling some of the things I saw him post.  I know he's a better person that what he shares.  The contrast between where our lives have gone is quite interesting.

     So in a nutshell, I am one of two kids-- one who is around 11... years minutes "older" than I am.  I don't really understand/know why without putting me to blame, but that fraternal relationship has been nonexistent for the longest time.  Eight years of estrangement can take its toll on the human psyche.

     We've all been given a charge to love our brother's keeper.  My message here is to all who have broken or rusted bonds with siblings or relatives in any form you want to connect with again.  When you're estranged, it's extremely frightening to reconnect, even if you really want to.  The thought of further rejection, waywardness, and hostility makes us quake.

     So the first step to overcoming our demons and repairing these bonds come from being receptive.  Showing that desire to want to reconnect is the first big step to reparation.  It can be something like a pact to yourself that you won't hold any more ill will toward your estranged relative or even a message to the world that your doors of acceptance is now open.  At this part, perhaps your estranged relative wants to accept your offer of benevolence-- great!  Be receptive and kindly when they initiate the conversation!

     That's the easy part.  The real threshold that has to be crossed with the majority of us is that of taking action.  More likely than not, the other party may be thinking that you'll be the one who reaches them rather than vice versa.  It takes a real human being to go out and look for the person to make amends with!  A small private message on facebook, a twitter mention, or even a piece of correspondence (if you know his or her address) never hurt anyone!  Be proactive, even if it's the scariest thing you'll ever do in the distant future.  The return on investment is great, so far as I've been told.

     This is something I'm doing.  Right now, I'm working on the first part.  I have some time left before I'm able to actually reach out, but I know that we can exemplify the happiness of a strong, cohesive family with a message of reconnection.

     To my own kin, my doors are open, but my mouth cannot until this journey out west is finished.

Injustice (Tangent)

     In the midst of a library's computer lab, there was a young man, diligently working on a story that was to be published in a non-profit magazine in the coming weeks.  In this computer lab, there walks in a short, little woman-- thick glasses, a hanging lower lip, and a problem with her attitude.  She plops right down on a computer and plugs in her headphone, not minding what others around her have to say.  The unwanted voices of Justin Bieber and a variety of other pop singers are heard through the headphones, radiating a maxed-out volume that reverberates around the computer lab.  The cacophony of a squealing water bottle is heard every several minutes, piercing its sound to those nearby.  Day by day, this habit continues and many are afraid of telling this disabled woman that she's being a distraction.

     One day, as the persistence of the music and peculiar habits get the best of this young author, he approaches this woman, all 5-foot 2 of her, and firmly tells her that she is being a distraction to those around her.  With an un-understood look in her face, she turns her attention away from the man and continues forth with her habit, undeterred and non-compliant.  A look of puzzlement and frustration in the young man's face, he goes toward the information desk of the library to voice his complaint.  The librarian listens intently to what the man has told her and she goes forth and in a loving but authoritative charge, she sends this woman out of the computer lab, never able to come back again.  Many in the computer lab look to this man with a sign of relief and thankfulness as they all continue to do what they have been doing-- in peace, finally.

     As the days approached, there, the short, little woman is seen again but with two tall men, a business-dressed woman, and an official-looking envelope.  The business-dressed woman, who addressed herself as a "Nancy," a representative from the local disabilities advocacy group and she told this young man that the envelope the short, little woman was holding was a subpoena-- that they had filed a lawsuit against the young man and also the library for kicking out the woman-- who turns out to have down syndrome.  The two parties were to owe this woman $3.2 million dollars in lawsuit and reparation each.

     The young man had nothing like this happen to him in his life before.  He was at a loss of what to do.  He didn't and couldn't raise enough money to pay for the lawsuit, let alone hiring an attorney.  The library wasn't going to do much to help his case, either.  Devastated, he returned home, looking poorly in the prospects of his future.

     As the court date was approaching closer and closer, the advocacy group had broadcasted the incident on a national scale, making it known to mainstream media and other public figures and groups.

     "Man responsible for kicking out handicapped patron out of library"

     "Inhumane act of atrocity took place in computer lab"

     "Woman with down syndrome abused for being mentally challenged"

     "Insensitive bigot claims superiority over the disabled"

     "Hate crime?  We think so!"

     Such headlines had become such a ubiquitous sight that many had seen and vilified this young man as he walked the streets, entered various establishments, and even published his articles.  Words of anger and retribution lashed the back of this man wherever he was, and was not given a day of mercy to rest from what he had done.  Abuse, robbery, and shame had followed him like a shadow, wherever he was to be seen.  His magazine organization had fired him because of his image.  He was evicted from his apartment because of his inability to pay rent.  He couldn't get another job because his name was so notorious among the public opinion.

     The court date was coming in a few weeks.  This man, homeless and without support, now wandered the streets of the city slums, living off of the blind charity of the church soup kitchens.  With what little money he could muster up, the young man had gone to a local pawn shop and put in all that he had to purchase a cold, long barrel-- trigger attached.  He had put in another couple of dollars to buy five red, cylindrical tubes, brass for its base.

     In a location far from the incivility and vile mouths of man, he faced a brick wall-- a racing river right behind him, running from an impending storm-- and uttered a last, desperate prayer.  He picks up the cold steel of the metal-and-wood salvation and inserts the red cylinder in a hole at its side.  With a quiet-as-possible click, the cylinder goes deeper into the barrel.  The shiny, barren emptiness is pointed into the young man's mouth.  As he closes his eyes and voices a final good-bye, he swallows the red pill-- never again to see the remnants of his mind and his soul again.  He was set free from the world, its torment now at ease.

     "Man's guilt gets the best of him"

     "An unsung death of a cruel and vicious man"

     "Good riddance"

Counterculture part 1

“In my youth I wanted freedom. In my mature years I want order.” --Will Durrant

     The motif of defying authority figure is an age-old concept, universal in its application.  From the hill-billy rednecks to the thugs of the inner cities, the lack of understanding of the law which governs us is more and more evident in the people.

     The rebellious nature of man is everywhere-- more rampant than ever.  Abuse of privilege tied sprinkled in with a lack of maturity, a lack of responsibility, and a lack of knowledge makes for an interestingly scary society.

     Legalize drugs!

     Ban theology!

     Power to the people!

     Get that tyrant out of office!

     Away with all the <insert minority non-Protestant religion here>!

     Down with the establishment!

     We see these phrases shouted by all sorts of people, educated or otherwise.  What service do they serve besides to advance their own ideology?  Do they benefit the population at large or is it self-serving?

     "It's the spirit of the law that really matters!"

     I have heard this for the first time, not too long ago.  It puzzles me, quite frankly.  Many a people* hawk for such things in the positions they're in regardless of political party-- much of the world* is becoming more and more polarized.

     If people don't like what they see, they choose to either ignore it or openly rebel against it.  Feelings are hurt and contention is rife.  The world* seems so filled with hateful words said to each other without regard to human frailty rather than the spirit of cooperation and understanding.  It seems as if self-service and copious amounts of criticism reigns supreme in the minds of all those view figures, governments, and other institutions.

     Honestly, I'm an idealist-- the world would be just right if everyone would just get along and pick pansies and frolick on the open meadow.  A society filled with love and understanding-- wouldn't that be nice?  Wouldn't it be just dandy if everyone could say to another, "you are my brother" or "you are my sister" and be done with it?

     Unfortunately, the situation doesn't seem like that and the majority of the world are left in the dust about how others genuinely feel and act, causing a lot of disconnects and problems.  I will explain why I say the things that I do in a later post why I bring up these issues.

     I address this to those who are disillusioned (Ernest Hemingway-style) and those who want to seek something greater in life.

     So the way I see it, laws that govern us (as human beings and not mathematically/scholastically) exist in three different dichotomies:

• Governmental - the set-in-stone laws written by a body of legislators in a government assembly or decreed by some sort of leader/dictator figure.
• Socio-ethical - the tentative, "unspoken" laws set in place by man to dictate what is culturally acceptable or not (e.g. cultural etiquette, common courtesy, manners, faux pas, taboos, &c.)
• Theological - a set of rules found primarily through books of holy writ (e.g. Ten Commandments, Five Pillars); this is where much of today's socio-ethical laws come from.

     Starting off, there are a LOT of rules to follow in today's society.  The world put up standards in which to abide by-- through these three types of laws.  If you put them all together, it's mind-boggling how many rules that we're supposed to follow compared to how many we actually do follow.

     It's definitely overwhelming and many don't succeed in following all of the dictations that have been put into place.  Sometimes, the regulations aren't something we might look favorably upon-- it may go against our intuition, or culture, or our beliefs.  These laws don't quite seem to be as universal as people make them out to be.

     Each person has the ability to choose between what is right and what is wrong.  This is called agency.  When people representing others come together in an assembly to decide what is right or wrong, this is called democracy. When people don't agree with certain facets of law, this is called one of two things: counterculture or apostasy.  When either of these things happen, society changes-- usually for the worst-- now there have been cases where disagreements of certain portions of law turned out to be for the best, but usually, it has let to a lot of material loss and a loosening of a standard set in place before the protest.  Disarray prevails and decorum is almost unobtainable without some kind of compromise.


 *: "the world" and the general term for "people" refers to an assumption to mean citizens of the United States of America.  Much other parts of the world is unknown in the perspective of this peculiar person due to a lack of information, therefore not much argument or support can be backed up for them and their situation.

I may not be as informed as the majority of the American population about current events, but this opinion has arose from what I have seen over the days.

The World Needs More Listeners part 2

     In my experience as a human being, I have come across something that seems to have made my life a tad more miserable than it ought to have be:

     Other people.

     As much as I avoid talking to people and associating myself with life, it seems like people have the most potential to do harm to another human being than anything else in the world.  How is it done, you ask?

    Surprisingly, the most common of hurts doesn't come from: sticks, stones, mallets, swords, knives, drugs, poison, fists, bombs, and guns.

     It comes from another person's lips.

     Those lips can utter a strange world of insult, madness, frustration, and slander.

     More than any weapon on Earth, words are the most used instruments of destruction.  Like many objects such as knives and hammers, they can be used for good purposes, but at the desperation and frustration of the individual, they convert these relatively pacified instruments into potentially harmful objects.

     Words.  Especially specific ones-- when used, can turn us into monsters.

    Much of the world are weary of so much slander-- ubiquitous in the mouths of many-- the television, the internet, the radio, and every instrument of media known to man.  A day doesn't pass where such acerbic words aren't conveyed to another person or party.

     These words build up-- they weather us.  They change us.  They change our nature.

     One has to know that people are like a block of clay; the potter being that of the world.  So are the words of the world like that of the potter's hands.  They can be rough, but they can be skilled.  In that sense, we are part of the world, too.

     Do we want to be the hands that turn the block of clay into mush, or a beautiful vase?

     As the individual is the block of clay, it is our duty to shape that person to be a beautiful instrument that can serve its purpose, whatever it may be.  A nice, accented, piece of glory that can be proudly displayed in any home.

     To do that, do we really need to hear and say such hateful words and convey such hateful action toward another human being?

     Over the days here, there are a TON of real-life examples I have seen where words just turned people into people who aren't really themselves.  I want to avoid that.  I want to see the world as a place where people aren't afraid to be themselves-- a place where all can cooperate and do what God has in store for them-- a place where one can unlock his or her fullest potential.  Beginning with you (me, also), here's some things that should be avoided as soon as possible.

Please don't avoid:

• Misunderstand another-- The key to many of today's problems could have been resolved if only people asked good questions.  Misunderstanding-- disconnects-- come from a lack of communication.  It comes from us not analyzing a situation before making a judgment.  To avoid such a tragedy, one must be able to humble themselves to seek understanding from the other party through looking through the lens of the that party.  So before calling someone out, ask what the person is doing and why he or she is doing it.  It'll help get a perspective on what really needs to be done rather than submit to name-calling or extreme frustration.
• Ignore a request - Neglect is one of the reasons why people have issues with abandonment, acceptance, and self-esteem.  Worse than giving someone a yes or no answer, this is not replying or acknowledging at all.  There's a great reason why jails and militaries use solitary confinement as punishment: the lack of human contact is unbearable to the most of us.  So it is with neglect.  The purposeful ignorance of a request-- of an idea of another human being-- may make another feel useless, angry, and depressed.  Believe me, people already have too much on their plates and the people with these ideas have gone through some effort so that you can hear the information they have collected-- just for you.  Don't ignore people.  Rather, acknowledge them.  Saying yes or no is all up to you, but just listen.  You may never know if that person whom you accept may be the next genius who benefits humankind!
• DENY a request - Saying "no" really hurts.  There is a time and a place for such, but personally, I try my best never to say "no."  There are a ton of alternatives to saying no such as "what about," "I'm afraid that [idea] will end up like," "here's what I think," and a plethora of other phrases.  No-- the word itself can boil the blood of a lot of people, giving them unnecessary stress and pain.
• Shoo off someone - This goes along with neglect.  Don't do this.  The person whom you've shooed off may have faced such rejection and unacceptance numerous times.  It may be his or her breaking point.  The shoo-er gives no clear explanation on why he wants this person out of his or her group, but there should be an explanation given!  That is the key to communication!  The one thing people in this life need more than anything is closure.  That is why religion exists.  That is why CSI people work so hard to find who killed who.  Remember always that before something like this happens, talk to the person you want to reject on why that is the case before actually doing the action.
• Discourage someone - Honestly, I think of this incredibly cruel.  Unless by some instance where the person may be doing something universally unacceptable, never EVER tell someone to quit what they're doing so hard with.  It kills morale, makes the other party really sad, and halts progression.  You may have potentially stopped the discouraged person from reaching his full potential as a musician, a teacher, a bus driver, a lawyer, a doctor, etc.  Patience.  This is incredibly important when dealing with others.
• Use any sort of violence to justify an action (or vice versa) - This is another incredibly cruel (and senseless) act that could be avoided altogether through effective communication.  Any sort of violence is unacceptable, because you're physically hurting another person because they had the audacity to call you out on something.  Swallow your pride.  Do whatever it takes to stop the rage from clenching your hands into fists and flying them to the other party's face.  Many laws protect the other person from such things and put you in a position where you may be facing a hefty fine and even jail time.  This may seriously damage another person both by bruises/broken/swollen body parts and even through psychological trauma.  We really don't want to go into any more of the repercussions that this has on a human being.  It's bad.  Try to reason.  Try to humble yourself.  Try to laugh.  Try to shout off a mountain.  Try to be the better man.  It'll alleviate any tense situation-- maybe not in a heartbeat, but eventually.

     Jesus had always told us to love and not to hate (John 13:34).  If hate abound even in a justifiable way, we have to forgive and love at least 490 times more (Matthew 18:21-22).  It's the Christian thing to do-- it's the right thing to do.  As we do it, we'll get closer to what agape truly means.  This is my wish to the world.  Don't be so hard on other people, because they're going through the same struggles as we all are.  We shouldn't make the world any cynical than it already is.

The World Needs More Listeners part 1

     Lately, the days have gone by a bit shaky-- a ton of things to complain about and a lot of neglect from leadership figures.  For the longest time, I was whining and getting absolutely flabbergasted because these people would procrastinate, slack off, and just evade doing work altogether.  Disillusionment set in fairly rapidly over these last couple of months.  I thought I was going to explode in frustration.  In a nutshell, I was (and still am, in my honest opinion), going through "missionary puberty."

     Now why do I bring that up?  Well, the fact of the matter is is that much of the pent-up anxiety, wrath, resentment, disconnect, and sadness comes not from purposeful hatred, but from a lack of communication-- a lack of love, better put.

SUICIDE NOTE 2: There is too much stress in my life from school and the environment it creates, expectation s for sports, expectations from friends, and expectations from my family (SOURCE).

     This was written, really, not too long ago.  A disconnect between child and society resulted in tragedy.  It's really unfortunate hearing about such news.  I would like to share one more thing with y'all:

SUICIDE NOTE 1: I have no hope, only dreams that have died.  I was never able to obtain satisfactory interpersonal relationships.  I feared the future and a lot of other things.  I felt inferior.  I have almost no will to achieve, perseverance, or sense of worth, so goodbye.  I should have listened to you but I didn't.  I started using acid last summer.  It's purgatory (SOURCE).

     Neglect-- failure to understand-- leads to abandonment-- forlornness of the soul.  The brightest of souls are destroyed because of the lack of care.

     The pinnacle of human yearning comes from wanting to be heard-- to be listened to.  More and more, I'm seeing that many people are all either sad or angry if they're not recognized (myself included:P).  I don't know if this is just a part of human nature, but if someone knows that they have been heard, they are happy, content, and confident.  I suppose Mavlov was right-- we strive to be self-confirmative in most all of our actions.

     If we reach out to those who need us-- the quiet ones especially--- imagine their gratitude!  They may not voice it immediately, but down the road, they'll be grateful that you didn't give up on them.  I want to share one more thing-- it's a sermon given in the 1970's.  It's been adapted to help you reach out.

"First, [these struggling people] need faith.  They need to believe.  They read to know the doctrines, the commandments, the principles of the gospel.  They need to grow in understanding and conviction.  They need to worship and to pray, but they live in a time when all of this is so seriously questioned, when doubt is encouraged.
 
Two, they need to be accepted as they are, and to be included.  They need a family, the most important social unity in the world; and even if they have a good family, they need the supportive influence outside their home-- of others, of neighbors, of friends... of brothers, of human beings.

Three, they need to be actively involved, to participate, to give service to give of themselves.

Four, they have to learn somehow that they are more important than their mistakes, that they are worthwhile, valuable, useful; that they are loved unconditionally" (Marion D. Hanks, October, 1971).

     The world needs more listeners.  How much better would it be if we all understood each other?  To the all of us, the world can be a vile place, but we don't have to be.  Help that one person who needs your hand.  We're here to serve others, says the teacher of teachers (Matthew 20:27).

Talented part 2

     A flurry of illnesses seemed to hit me all at once over the last couple of weeks.

     My mind seemed like it was on the brink of snapping into two.  Missionary stress is a normal thing, but pile it with recent tragedies, a lack of faith, bottles and bottles of medicine, and an inability to socialize with other missionaries and members and you have yourself... me!

     Life was hard.  Life is still hard.  Over these last couple of days, I have been trying to find myself.  It isn't easy.  No one said it'd be.  These two years that the Church has given me has been a time of the deepest reflection in both spirit and in self.

     Who am I?  What am I doing here?  Where am I going after I'm done here?

     It seems like I need to be teaching myself what the Church is teaching...
    
     Anywho, for the LONGEST time, I saw myself as someone sad-- someone unwilling to change and to conform with society-- in a nutshell, a teenager... except, I'm nineteen years old.  Not only that, I'm a comparer.  More about that will be explained.

     The way a majority of us think is that there are a ton of people who have life handed to them-- you cannot perceive a single enemy that they might have, they're loved by their still-together parents, they have many a friend to rely on, they're fit, they're liked by all the grown-ups, and they're sitting comfortably in their two-story home with a white picket fence and a beagle always liking him or her hello.  It can seem a little hard comparing oneself to someone like that.

     Happy people are fine with everything-- faith comes easy for them due to the minimal effort they have to exert.  They grew up well and were associated with good people all their lives.  As for the downtrodden and morose, everything seems irrationally difficult-- every little task seems impossible.

     Now, happy people struggle too, but they can contain their frustrations and exhibit a face conveying quite a scare of a change-- a face that really isn't theirs, but of a happy person.  Us, people who keep to themselves, cannot but to exhibit how we genuinely feel-- honest souls.  Those acting sad probably have inside them an even greater sadness they wouldn't share with people they don't trust-- that's not very many people in these people's eyes.

     These quiet ones have minds filled with so much resentment, lack of self-esteem, and disillusion that they cannot function properly without outside help.  There'll be denial-- unwillingness for treatment.  Normal is boring.  Normal is mundane.  Normal-- is too normal.

     Sounds familiar?  You or someone you know?  The thing is, we who struggle with life daily-- are meant for greater growth.  It's just that there are a bunch of obstacles in our way that impedes our progress.  A ton of people were like this-- Emma Smith, for one.  Then, there were the transcendentalists and also the "lost generation."  We're in good company.

     The struggle in finding ourselves and for spiritual folks, finding a testimony of what seems to be the truth, is an ongoing battle.  I can recount when my faith has shaken quite a bit-- yet, there was something that sustained me from then till now.

     Couple of pointers I would like to give to those struggling with such is this:

• Remember why you're doing what you're doing-- is it for a worthy cause?  Will it aim to help both yourself and your peers?
• Motivation-- think about what drives you to do what you're doing.  Make sure it's firm.
• Patience-- it's always mentioned, but it's very much needed to progress in the field that you're working in.
• Know who you are.  You have infinite potential and you can do whatever you set your mind to do... just don't procrastinate for too long.
• Goals!  Set goals and make plans.  That way, your future can be within your grasp.

     As a missionary, it's definitely helped me do all these things, even if it was the harder route.  It's extremely gratifying, most of all, to know that whatever I'm doing, I do have the support of so many people.  Remember who you are.  Remember who you are.  Remember who you are.

Echoing Joyeous Strains

     With every Christmastime comes a special spirit that can soften even the stiffest of hearts.

     It was a rough mission for me, dealing with a lot of disillusionment, pain, and instability-- a hot potato without a hand to clasp it.  Nobody wanted me; not a soul wanted to hear what he had to say.  Abandoned and ready to head back to a world unforgiving of surrender, he contemplated, all the months long-- to paraphrase a somewhat obscure song: it was time for him to enter the porridge-- nothing but him and his secrets he was keeping.  It wasn't a pretty time-- negativity had swarmed my mind, taking over my soul.

     A frigid mid-December evening fast approached the church building.  With it were the people entering in droves.  The congregation in the chapel was filled to capacity-- the audience, ready; the singers, just about.

     The first of the choirs come out onto the pulpit and display their marvelous renditions of Christmas carols and hymns.  Natalie Sleeth.  Linda Spevacek.  John Rutter.  Each composer's vocal praises-- the singers' renditions-- were heard by all in the audience. 

     And then, we come up.  The joint-choir of both our congregation and another's take the chairs in front.  The conductor taps her middle finger and her thumb three times, raises her hands high into the heavens, and brings them down with a like force.  Our mouths open and the "good news" starts pouring out of the auditorium.  The baptist choir-esque groove had snuck in a smile among both singers and listeners alike.  Then came Will Todd's "My Lord Has Come."  The atmosphere suddenly dropped-- it turned into a silent reverence.  The song started out in a quiet, elongated ooo-ing by the men and then the melody by the women.

     "His love will cradle me.  His love will cherish me."

     The burst of emphasis had given light to the song's zenith.  The silent search of the baby Jesus culminated with the assurance that the searchers have indeed come for what they were looking for-- a transcending love giving strength and joy among all who have received this glad tiding.

     The mmm's cradle the song slowly into its conclusion.  A brief silence had come over the people.  That familiar presence-- how splendid it was!  The program finished with a combined vocal symphony of "He Is Born."  It was a moment where there was raw joy emanating in the air-- the audience and singer alike, both lifted ten feet off the ground.

     It saved my life.

     The power of music is real.  It has a way of filling in the minute cracks in the heart that break us down-- filling it so that we can be full again; in spirit and in body.  It can soften even the stiffest of hearts.  The singing and praising of the denizens of a small, imaginary town inflated the heart of the greenest, most notorious Christmas curmudgeon to a size even he couldn't handle!  Music is powerful.  It influences.  It evokes in the mind, vivid pictures of love, beauty, and hope toward all within earshot of the angelic voices.  There's something about it that brings comfort and hope-- knowledge from on high that everything's going to be okay.

     This Christmas, take the time out to organize a small (motley) choir group and go out caroling!   The power of the spoken word can do wonders on the human soul.  Lift someone in need.  Seriously.

Ten Things I'm Grateful For

"Live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which God doth bestow upon you" (Alma 34:38).

     As a Native American prophet Amulek (am-you-lick) put it, we should do exactly that.  It not only brings satisfaction to one's life, but it also brings optimism, happiness, better relationships, better mood, better relationships with others, and a feeling of worth.

     The exclusively American rendition of the Autumn Thanksgiving holiday is just right around the corner!  There are a few things I want to put down that I know I'm blessed to have!  I'm pretty sure, though, most people have many, MANY things that they're thankful for too-- feel free to contribute!  Of course, I won't be writing down everything I'm grateful for here, but I'll put down ten of the most important things of which I am thankful for.

1) Family - When all may abandon me, when all may betray me, and when all may simply vanish from my hands that has molded such bonds, there will stand my mother and father-- supporting me in whatever course of action I take.  They are my parents-- they have an unconditional love for me no matter how hard I may think that they plot my misery.  This fact wasn't quite acknowledged until I started my mission.  My parents have sacrificed a great deal to raise me to where I am now.  Remember that you can go to your own parents with any problem you have and they will, in all their power and wisdom, help you out.  You are their biggest priority.

2) Friends - The people whom I have developed such fond memories with are perhaps one of the biggest blessings God has bestowed unto me.  These people have molded me to be the person I am today and without their influence, I don't know what I would have become.  They promoted love and charity.  They taught me more about the world than any institution of learning would by itself.

You have the whole world on your shoulders

3) Trials - This isn't the most obvious thing to be grateful for, but it certainly has been for me.  Although challenges and adversity aren't the funnest things to experience, one thing I've learned on my mission is that looking back on it, I was able to learn so much out of it.  Life challenges and struggles have definitely made me look at how good it can be with it; it puts a completely new pair of glasses to view life in.  Arguments with parents, fights with miss
ionary companions, deaths of loved ones, regret, remorse, sorrow, sin, pains, pressures, and more, they've all shaped me to be who I am and will be.  "All these things will give thee experience" (D&C 122:7).

4) Haters - Seriously, without them, we wouldn't be as good as we are now.  They made us.  They shaped us.  Their acerbic tongues and their agonizing attitudes have given us a better way to cope and overcome such people. 

We aren't!

5) Identity - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes that we were all spirit children of God and that we were sent here to grow and develop in maturity and wisdom so that we may be better prepared to meet our Father in Heaven.  In doing so, we are all different, woven from different threads and experiences.  I believe in that.  I am thankful for being different from the person next to me.  The fact that I am who I make myself to be is probably the best thing that God has given me.  I can exercise my life and put it to use here on this Earth at this time.  The introverted, crazy kid that I am could never have been without the hand of God, giving it to me.

Seasonal

6) Literature - Without books, culture would have been disseminated rather slowly.  Through these media, we are able to look into what people thought about back in the day and what people did back in the day.  Without literature, we would never have understood the depth of religion.  Church doctrine would have been more ambiguous than ever.  We wouldn't even have known the nature of God!  Without the Bible and the Book of Mormon, I don't even believe that Christianity would stand as it does today.  Hindus wouldn't have been without the Bhagavad Gita; Moslems would still be descendants of Quraysh without the Qu'ran; and the Jews would not have had the law to govern themselves without the Torah.  Thank you Oscar Wilde, Francois Arouet, Roald Dahl, and countless others, too, for enlightening our minds to the wonders of a differing perception of the world.

Lots of learning.

7) Teachers - They built the foundation of my-- and our-- intellectuality.  They shaped the unorganized mass in our heads and molded them to become the bright, shiny objects they are now.  Before parents, these are the people you see, hear, and learn from the most during your childhood years and even beyond to tertiary education. Without them, 74+26 wouldn't have an answer; a lizard wouldn't be a reptile; oxygen wouldn't be breathable; The Civil War wouldn't have existed; and "synecdoche" would have been some sort of potty language.

Dear...

8) Correspondence - Letters.  These have been my life essence as a missionary.  More than any other material thing on Earth, I have loved and appreciated these things.  They're just like words spoken by another human soul-- just written down on paper.

Bittersweet.

9) Missionaries - These people-- man, I have a lot to say about these people.  These people ages 18-twenty-something go out to preach the gospel in whatever condition they may be in, mature or otherwise.  They each have sacrificed something and have to deal with that sacrifice for a period of 18-24 months.  Sometimes, many don't take it well, especially if you have to work alongside with one.  Each one of these people make you think about your own self and your own dedication to the cause in which you're in.  Being with them emulates marriage.  Sometimes raising a child.  It's a wonderful, enriching experience where so much can be learned and applied in the real world.

Cathedral Rock

10) The Eye Can See -  There's just so much about the world around us.  Natural beauty can make the eyes a bit sore; the elegance and the exquisiteness is a bit much to behold.  To be in it is to find greater peace than anything else you can do by yourself.  Every now and then, I go to this place past the I-17 called Cococino National Park.  Wandering its Ponderosa trails, it definitely makes you realize how awesome nature is and how much you can learn and unwind from it.  There's also the Occoquan Bayside, Silverado, Zion, Shenandoah, and a ton of other places just perfect to get away from everything!

Pandemic!

     With the whole ebola spiele still going strong, many have become paranoid even at the slightest of coughs and minimal of sneezes.  As missionaries aren't supposed to keep up with "worldly media," I'm rather left in the dark about what seems to be unfolding before the world.  However, here's a test for those who talk to missionaries a lot: ask a missionary if he (or she) knows any other location other than Africa where Ebola has been documented.  Chances are, they're probably not very obedient.

Beware, beware!

     Anywho, as we talk about disease and illnesses, I wanted to bring up chicken pox.  Back in the day, a parent of a child would arrange sleepovers with that child's friends, one having had the chicken pox recently.  This was a short-sighted yet somewhat effective measure to "innoculate" chicken pox to the children so they don't run the risk of catching shingles as adults.  So as the children sleeps over at the home of the afflicted child, they are exposed to the germs (viruses) and poor sanitation of that said child.  Lo and behold, all the children now have chicken pox!


     We can see here an interesting parallel with our own spirituality, too.  No matter who you are, the world is filled with filth and infection that'll give you many a malady.  Unlike chicken pox or even ebola, spiritual diseases can afflict and maim even the most protected and sheltered one of us.  If we're exposed to too much spiritual disease, we may end up where no oatmeal baths and chicken noodle soup can cure!  We are at risk of catching this infectious thing wherever we are-- it's up to us to protect ourselves from such.

     Now you wonder, what would be a spiritual chicken pox?  Take a moment to think about that-- what is out there that can hinder our ability to find peace, impair our judgement, and otherwise backward society person by person?  Hopefully by now, your noggin is cranking a few gears.  If we're surrounded and exposed and put in to these toxic situations, objects, and what say you, how do you think we can be the good Christians/Jews/Buddhists we could possibly be?

     It ain't happening.

Better safe than sorry

     Diseased carriers are are everywhere-- they can come in the forms of pornography, narcotic substances, vicious words, peer pressure, and many, many more.  Exposure to even the slightest of these things can pose a great risk to our spiritual health, jeopardizing the health that we've been endowed with.  It's a miserable experience being ensnared in those nets and escape is no easy task.  Although we can come out of these ordeals, like many viral and bacterial diseases of now, it leaves a bit of itself that could have been avoided.  Sooooooo, get vaccinated!  Practice proper spiritual hygiene!  Do all you can to avoid such things so that you aren't left to pain and suffering!  Don't hang out with someone infected too-- you might catch it!

Bread of Life part 2

     This is a two-part post with part one shown earlier: PART 1

     Okay, now, the question I shall prose is this:

     How was there that much bread left over, but what did they do with the remaining bread?  In tandem, what did we do with the multiplied blessings we received?  While we succeed in the perilous endeavors we commit to with divine intervention, what's important is "what do we do with the newly acquired skill/material/characteristic?"

Link

     It isn't exactly made clear what Jesus and His apostles did with the bountiful amount of remaining bread, but it can be reasonably said that they didn't use it for selfish reasons.  While we can have an overflow of substance-- an overflow of blessings-- we can use it for a variety of means to bless others even more abundantly.  This idea is still a little new to me, so I'm still thinking about what I could do with an abundance of blessings.  Then, a thought popped up--

Spiritual Investment!

     Like successful businesspeople, when they gain a profit, they don't hoard a whole lot of it to themselves.  Instead, they invest in it-- preferably high interest-yielding, lowest-risk deposits.  In order to make more money, they have to spend it on stuff like that.  Some time later, they get an even bigger return and then the process starts all over again.  If we have blessings in such an amount that we're constantly thanking the Lord and not having any other time to repent or ask for help, that's a sign you need to put your blessings in a financial portfolio.

     Go volunteer in a charitable organization!  Go say that you're happy to see a lone face!  Go feed someone hungry!  Go clothe someone naked!  The world is out there to share what you have that has blessed you and your life.  In an eternal perspective, when Jesus said to gather up "treasures in heaven," to go about doing good is a surefire way to do so (Matthew 6:20).  As the Master Teacher Himself, He was endowed with such powers that He had gone about to share it with His fellow men.

     Whatever God has blessed us with, if we share it, we shall see our faith grow.  For Jesus said, "for whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 16:25).

Bread of Life part 1

     Reading the Bible like I normally do, I come across a very well-known miracle performed by Jesus  and His apostles.  Lately, after a comment made by a church member, it got me thinking that like most of the things that Jesus taught, His actions are also multifaceted.  So, of two I will explain-- as an inexperienced gospel learner, it has blew my mind.  Here are the references:

  Matthew 14:14-21

Mark 6:31-44

Luke 9:11-17

John 6:3-15

Link

     Setting: Jesus wanted some privacy with His apostles after His cousin was decapitated.  He sails away to a rather desolate environment, wanting to seek solace from the world.  Unbeknownst (probably not), there are a many people who meet Him on the shore of the desert.  Jesus sees that they don't have anyone else to turn to, He begins teaching them of the doctrines of heaven and healing the sick among them.  As the day comes to a close, Jesus feels sorry for these followers and gathers up what food Him and His followers have and distribute it among all.  All the people are full and all part ways.  The apostles are left with twelve baskets full of bread crumbs.

     Imagine.  Personify and generalize bread.  It's a substance that we cannot live without-- Jesus always makes reference to it as a foodstuffs that sustains us and our health (John 6:35).

Link

     As Jesus asks His disciples to feed the crowd-- mind you, there were five thousand men there plus women and kids-- the disciples bring out what they have, a tad unsure if the amount of food they had was enough.  Comparatively, it's like feeding a professional football team with a can of spam.  Even so, they give Jesus the five loaves and the fishes.

     This is where the faith steps in.

     The apostles had faith midst the incredulity of the said task, so they gave Jesus what they had.  Jesus blessed the bounty and fed it among five thousand plus people.  Jesus had made up the difference and all were fed well, with more left over than they had!

     This is synonymous with the blessings that we receive.  If we don't have enough <insert fodder for endeavors here> to succeed, we can do all that we possibly can and let God make up the rest.  Of course, this requires effort on our part, but if we put it in, like the bread, God can give us the proper strength to overcome any obstacle-- even to the point of overflowing.

"I always relied on the kindness of strangers"

Best place in the world.

 The title is a Tennessee Williams reference.  I thought it was suiting.

      Some time ago, I was standing in line to check out my usual grocery at a west-coast store called "Sprouts."  This place is kind of like a Trader Joe's but with more variety.  Anywho, while I was there, I was talking to the cashier-- she was apparently a little perturbed by some news with her family or something-- I don't remember the details, but in short, she was just unhappy.  I exchange my twenty-dollar-bill for some change and a receipt and begin walking toward the automatic doors.  I then proceed to tell this distraught cashier tell her that "I hoped her day goes better" over my usual "have a good day."

     There was a confused look in her face-- like it was the first time she'd ever hear those words before!

     I left that Sprouts and I still keep thinking about that conversation.  It wasn't because she was going through that time; nor was it for the amount of groceries I got for twenty bucks [NOT an endorsement for the store]!  Rather, I still keep thinking about why she made the face that she did to me!

     I'm Korean and I was born in the US.  I served in the Korean program for most of my mission, yet I felt some small disconnect with Caucasians at that moment-- do white people appreciate me saying such things?

     So while kind of being haunted by that thought, I realized some important things about life.  It doesn't matter who you are, if you know you're being cared about by other [random] people, you feel a lot better about yourself.

     Except for me.  I'm just weird.

     However, the main point is that probably 99% of the world is struggling right now.  This very instant.  In one form or another.  Even if you're not a missionary (or if you are, better on ya!), you can pitch in your benefit toward society with even just a simple act of kindness-- the easiest and most effective of them all is that of listening.

     Do it with your ears.

     Do it with your mouth.

     Do it with your hands.

     Do it with your eyes.

     There's a ton of different ways to do it, but to make a person feel loved is absolutely paramount in just about any situation where you're engaged with someone else in an intercourse of words.

     Honestly, I don't know what that cashier would have thought about my words, but I know that she probably wasn't made even more aggravated.  So, play your part!  You'll get brownie points in heaven and perhaps even a small act of kindness may just turn into a giant snowball that'll crush all evil in its path, being one step closer to the utopia that we may know heaven to be-- on Earth!

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up." -1 Corinthians 13:4

Manly Men

     I despise arm wrestling with a burning passion.  In very few instances, I do come on top, but for a great majority of the time, the result isn't too exciting.  While engaging in this so-called epitome of masculinity, I lock my hands with the opponent's hands.  The conflict starts off steady, but in less than a couple of seconds, my hand is inches from hitting the table.  The funny thing is, I stay in this "verge of losing position" for a great long time.  For whatever inexplicable reason, the opponent cannot simply just finish me off.  I have to be extremely exhausted and ready to just give up for me to completely lose.  When I do finally lose, I don't really see it as a loss, because I put in everything I have to stay afloat and give that hand a fighting chance to possibly win.  I see it as a fact that I've persevered; I've fought a good fight.

Life is tough.

     I thought to myself in such an instance.  Isn't this a spiritual thing too?  In a way, I believe it is.  The adversary has so many resources and is incredibly strong in diverting us toward the wrong path-- the path to sin and iniquity.  We are only human, fallible to many things.  Satan is a bodiless spirit who has known the world since the era of Adam and Eve.  As we were born on the Earth, we were weak and vulnerable.  Sad to say, we still are.  Slowly, though, we are able to build experience to thwart a good lot of the things that Satan throws at us.  However, with millennia-old experience versus a less than a century's worth of experience, it's no real contest on who will trump the other.


     We remain afloat in a very troubling world filled with demonic influence.  The adversary is plenty in number and definitely very, VERY strong.  Every day, we struggle to hold on our virtues, our faith, and our dignity.  We can magnify the strength of holding on, enduring to the end, through the choices we make and the path that we follow.  If we choose to be righteous and faithful, that hand will gain strength.  It will hold us for a little bit longer.  If we cannot be righteous until the end and if the adversary does take hold of us, eventually defeating us in sin, all is not lost.  You're going to be sore for quite some time, but remember that the reason why it's so sore is because the muscle on your arm is repairing itself and making itself stronger.  If treated right, with repentance and condition, the next time you're arm wrestling that person, you'll be a lot stronger than you were and with faith in a loving Heavenly Father, you may even triumph!

With His grace, we can breeze through the adversary

     No one likes an easy loser.  There's fun and also a lot of effort in a competitive matchup.  The fact that we hold on and endure faithfully shows the fact that we are not quitters.  Life is just that.  If we quit too early, there's really no point in living it.  If we give up against the opponent while we arm wrestle, there was no point in having challenged him in the first place.

     I strongly believe in the fact that we all live in a verge of losing state-- the adversary does all that he can to make us lose completely.  As pessimistic as that sounds, I also believe that we may be able to overcome that state.  With a strong and lasting testimony in Jesus Christ, understanding why He had died for us, we can have a friend's hand hold ours up and slam the adversary's hand on the other side of the table.  As frail and incomplete as we are, God isn't.  With His help, we can endure to the end.  The Lord can make us bear our [heavy] burdens with ease.  We just really need to submit to what He wants us to do.






     Oh, and one random life hack: when you're in an arm wrestle, bring your arm (and the other person's arm) closer toward your body.  Then put down the person's arm.  You'll have more momentum than the other guy and you'll be surprised how much of difference it'll make!