Zero Evidence (Satire)

"A ring!  A ring!  I've got a ring!" exclaimed a young neophyte archaeologist.

Brushing off the gritty, tan dust from the circular piece of metal, the young archaeologist then bit into it, attempting feebly to determine its genuinity and impress his fellow excavators.  Of course, they didn't take him too seriously.  He had thought to himself that this little discovery in the ruinous inhabitations of the Holy Land meant a significant advancement in biblical history. 

Flying back to his office later that month, back in the urban sprawl of Farragut Valley, Eastern California, the young archaeologist had returned with his curious object.  As inexperienced as he was, he managed to convince his coworkers and his archaeological firm of the importance of his finding-- evidently, he was granted permission to examine and inquire more upon it in the local laboratories.  The permission, a giving in to pity, led way for the young archaeologist to research his work.

Through chemo-radio-physical dating and multiple x-rays of sorts, the circular piece of metal that was found was labeled as "pretty old."

Thinking to himself, the young archaeologist wondered "Wasn't Jesus living in this time period?"  The idea that he had planted started to grow in his head, roots intact and flourishing.  Day by day, he kept pondering upon the idea with amazement and speculation.

Then, the dots that he had made converged-- "the ring," "the time," and "the setting--"  The hazy bulb in the young man's head blinked.  With the evidence in hand, he ran to the nearest historian to exclaim this groundbreaking news.

The historian the young archaeologist ran to, Frinckley, was an odd man of reputable standing in the circle of historians.  He and the young archaeologist went back a very long time-- him knowing the latter's parents.  Frinckley, overjoyed to see his old friend inquired what it was that the young archaeologist wanted to inquire about:

"Jesus must've been married, seeing how this ring is Israeli in origin and pretty old!" stated the young archaeologist.  "It all makes sense!  I suppose it's at least very briefly mentioned in the bible, too."

A rather secular individual, not having any real experience with the holy volume of scripture, Frinckley ate up his friends word, sweet to the taste, prestige, that is.

"You found yourself a discovery of the century, buddy boy!" Frinckley proclaimed.  "We're going to be famous, yuh' know that?"

So the two began disseminating this new information, backing it up with rather broad, non-specific pieces of evidence that made them sound expert in their respective fields.  Quoting the Psalmist and the lyrics of Solomon's composition, the two managed to influence all the came into contact with.

"Is that so?"
"What does this mean now?"
"I knew it all along!"

The denizens of Farragut Valley flocked to Frinckley and the young archaeologist, desiring to know more.  When such evidence could no long be found, they had resorted to bending what was only partially correct, claiming it to be sure knowledge.

With such a presentation, Frinckley and the young archaeologist saw fame and wealth pour in from the discovery.  The papers all announced the fact now that Jesus had married and no longer the words of the Son of Man valid among the people.  Independent from their predecessors, ignoring their pleas and warnings of proper examination, the two lived to see the world around them change-- a religion seeing the rise of a very attractive and risqué woman and her oversized beast had come to pass.






All but the ending-- sounds familiar?  Think about it.  This is how apostasy comes to start and grow.  Believe in what's right, not what's there.  To know what's right, though, you have to start by asking the One who knows all knowledge.  James 1:5.  Ponder it.  Food for thought.