Postlude Paradox

     The biggest hurdle that I seem to have to leap over seems to be that of dealing with myself.  Yes, everyone has conflicted feelings about identity and stuff, but the hardest thing for me is dealing with the trait of selfishness-- arrogance, vanity, self-centeredness, hubris-- all included.  Contrary to popular belief, not all missionaries are happy-go-lucky beings people who just love to help people-- they're supposed to be, but we're human, too.

     Selfishness is the bane of a collective society.  It's also the capital of societal progress.  To be prideful, arrogant, and boastful may not puff a positive connotation, but replaced with words like, individualistic, unique, and set-apart, the feeling changes-- the definition doesn't.  The feeling that grips my soul, blotching a giant black spot in my heart has definitely hard for me-- the purpose of a Latter-day Saint's missionary service is to "lose his life for my [Jesus'] sake" so that one may find it (Matthew 16:25).  A mission has definitely scrubbed off a sizeable portion of that dark stain, but it still shows.

     Once you do all that you've ever wanted to do and there's nothing else really to do, that's when one  can discover a true sense of selflessness.  It may come earlier for some rather than for others, but through it can society can get along.

Selflessness is an end result of the battle that selfishness proclaims victory over your mind.

     Aforementioned, a big part of spiritual growth, maturity comes from losing yourself versus keeping yourself.  As God has made us into progressive entities-- people who have to learn, develop and grow-- we must come to realize how that can be.  Slowly, progressively, we must learn to hit the point when we learn to become charitable.  At the same time, we cannot mature without such a trait.  A paradoxical flaw, it was meant to be so that we may be closer to becoming whole.

Selflessness = peace
Selfishness = progress

"Oh Lord, my God!"

     Footsteps clamor on the wooden staircase of the two-story Carthage jail.  Absurdly-dressed men, superficially discontent with their once beloved, rush the large wooden door separating them and the inhabitants thereof.  Shots go off.  With a bangs and pops, intertwined with profanity, four men, on the other side of that door push back the door, the impending death awaiting.

Depiction

     The firearms slip through the doorway.  The eagerly evil group of men release their flintlocks, igniting a hue of black smoke, propelling those lead shots into the direction of that room; many more come from the opposite direction-- from the window adjacent.

     "I am a dead man!"

     Shouts of shock.  Cries of help.  Panics of peril.  The four inhabitants of that room were then overpowered by these disgruntled men-- the mens' target, the "infamous" Joseph Smith, had attempted sanctuary, leaping toward the only exit remaining.

     Four shots having penetrated his body, the prophet Joseph Smith had fallen down those two stories, having cried the words:

     "Oh Lord, my God!"

     His dead or dying body now vulnerable to the mob members below, these people aimed to take him and disgrace him, even unto death.

     "The Mormons are coming!"

     The retreating cry of the mob members scurried frighteningly away at the news, leaving the dead bodies of Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum, and the wounded, affrighted souls of two others, laying around Carthage jail.  In a matter of less than twenty minutes after the charge, hell had indeed broken loose.

Memorial

     Set June 27, 1844, four somewhat ordinary citizens of Nauvoo, Illinois were molested by the wrath of disgruntled townsfolk.  With the death of the very first church leader of the Latter-day Saints, it had sealed a testimony of his work.  The influence of God upon him and his followers are evidently shown through the events that had ensued.  A legacy left behind, Joseph Smith had influenced tens of thousands at the time-- millions, following.

Praise to his mem'ry, he died as a martyr; 

Honored and blest be his ever great name! 

Long shall his blood, which was shed by assassins, 

Plead unto heav'n while the earth lauds his fame.

     This year marks the 161st anniversary of this event.  Let it be known that if this man was not called of a higher deity, the Church would not have been true.  The Church would not have had a priesthood.  The Church would not have had an anointed servant of the Lord guide it.  The church would not have had 141+ temples in operation.  The church would not have been a major influence in domestic and international affairs of the world.  Praise to the man.  Praise unto God.

One More Time with Feeling

     It's been a while since anything new has been put up here.  It doesn't mean that I completely stopped writing up new things, but it does mean that I was busy for quite a while.  A lot of stuff has gone that, quite frankly, made it almost impossible to think and create.  Still, though, there may be occasional posts here and there, but as for now, I may be lessening my activity.  In that case, there are a few words I'd like to add-- just random, but sentimental stuff.


     This blog was created to help others come unto Jesus Christ.  Still, with the amount of content in it, there should be a few that fulfills that role.  As for all of it, I'll be honest, they didn't turn out too Christ-like.  Rather, a fire and brimstone-esque demeanor radiated from each word-- condemnation and disillusionment behind each metaphor and allegory.


     To those who have seen it that way and have been hindered or offended by what has been posted, I regret it-- I am sorry and if there comes a time where you would like something handwritten, please let me know.  My email is on the "My history" tab on the blog profile.  Send me a return address and expect something in the mail in the next week or so.


     Still, though, that does mean one thing-- although with this I may be all but through, it'll emerge with a non-missionary-related blog called "First Impressions."  Less gospel-oriented but more spreading happiness-oriented, it's a casual take on the things that make people... people.  Aesthetics in both an outer and an inner realm will be discussed and will be for the sake of making others happy and not necessarily a tool to bring others into the LDS Church.


     Thanks for the ride.  Still, through this, I have met some wonderful people and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.  As the things we go through are what makes the flames in the refiner's furnace, we'll come out okay in the end-- the world is a scary place, but with a big smile and God and a friend right next to you, anything is possible.


     So au revoir.  I'll still keep the posts up here.  With any questions and replies, I'll still reply.

Delinquency

     When you're on a mission, the first thing you have to do is to forget everything you've learned from the place where you received instructions for before leaving.  The rules outlined in a handbook are simply just "guidelines" to the missionaries.  It'll make life extremely difficult if you want to follow the rules-- you'll be labeled as a "goody-do-er," "not fun," "tattle-tale," and just negative labels-- it makes missionary work pretty hard.

     For the past year or so, it was like that-- constantly being picked on for being too upright about standards.  It got worse being around the missionaries who have been called English-speaking*-- no discipline and rampant rowdiness all over the place.  It was like walking midst middle-schoolers.  Now I understand that they haven't quite got the fact that the rules are in place for precautionary rather than for restrictive purposes; but to blatantly rebel against it was just unacceptable!  These people don't act like missionaries, period.

     Lock me up in a looney bin-- coat me with a strait jacket, too.  I've been going insane with so much hypocrisy going on.  Dying.  Decaying.  My mental state was deteriorating frighteningly fast.

     To those of you at work or even here in the mission field, it's stressful dealing with non-compliant people-- they don't follow the standards set in place.  Even worse, they think they're quite the chivalrous bunch-- they can't find fault in themselves, finding it for others!  Gossips spread fast, too.  So let me give you some pointers that'll help with such a seemingly hopeless situation:

You might be a perfectionist.

     I learned that the hard way-- this makes life unnecessarily difficult to those who want to do things by the books.  Although it says, many times, that perfection is to be sought for, perfectionism is to be avoided.  That comes from progressing yourself while looking back at others behind you in scorn.  

     "<sigh> I guess I'll have to clean up their mess."

     "Could you be any more stupid?"

     "Grow up!"

     "Why would you do that?"

     Let reality come back to you-- you're dealing with people who can make their own decisions.  This is something that isn't under anyone's control-- not even God.  Sure, God knows what his children will do long before they themselves, but He has no control over it.  One cannot dictate how another person should live his or her life-- coercion was never a principle preached by any religionist and moralist in good standing with society.

     Paul says that "his strength is made perfect in weakness" as he talks about the Atonement Jesus made for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).  We have to humble ourselves-- know that "there is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly becomes any of us to talk about the rest of us."

     As soon as you know this, feel free to sulk around a little bit, swallow some pride, and start reaching out-- lovingly.  These people may be below us when it comes to maturity or understanding, but the things will work out.  The path to perfection isn't a solo road-- it's a group effort!  Remember: look back and reach out.  These kids-- these people-- won't understand why certain principles have to be followed, but through kind and loving example, they can be made right-- an invitation to do good.  Waiting for them to change without doing anything on your part will only make life more miserable.

The Donkey and the Fence (ANECDOTE)

     There lived a heard of donkeys, living on a very, very large ranch.  They all got along with each other very well, grazing on the nice, green pasture in which they were roaming.  Their ranchers, who would supervise where they were to go, were nice fellows-- very caring and very responsible as they would take care of the donkeys.

     Every now and then, some of the donkeys in the ranch were taken out by these ranchers so they would give rides to visiting tourists.  As the donkeys were more or less docile in their countenances, this wasn't a big problem with extremely few incidents of bucking or kicking.  It was a good life for these donkeys.  The work they had to do wasn't at all difficult and they were very well taken care of-- plenty of food, space, and time.

     However, beyond the fences in which they were surrounded by, there lied an unknown world to these donkeys; it wasn't anything like the trails they took their tourists.  The donkeys had no idea what was out past those, bright, white picket fences.  With that in mind, some of the donkeys got very curious.

     "Hey, what do think might be out there?" a donkey asked another donkey.

     "Beats me, Paula, but I bet Josh over there knows!"

     These two donkeys went to Josh-- he was notorious for the injuries caused to the humans-- he was the most extreme case of bucking and kicking the ranch has ever seen.  He would attempt running away many times, only to be found and returned back to where he lived.  He was seldom taken out of the ranch for fear of hurting more people and running away.

     "Hey Josh, have you ever been past the fence before?" Paula asked.

     "Oh plenty," Josh bluffed.  "The trick is, you have to kick off five of the tourists riding on you-- then you'll get strong enough legs to jump the fence over and see it for yourself!"

     "Won't the ranchers see me?"

     "Don't worry about that!  Your legs'll be so strong, they won't even know you leapt the fence!"

     Intrigued, these donkeys were extremely interested in the fact that there was a world out there and there was means to get there!  A rather reasonable task, these donkeys began to talk amongst themselves and with the other donkeys in the ranch-- many thought it was amusing at first.  Time passed, though, and many of the donkeys began feeling unsatisfied of their living conditions, even though they were treated extremely well and with care.  The donkeys looked to Josh, who would frequently run away and thought "maybe he isn't all that crazy."

     Through the months, these donkeys have begun to buck and kick a rather large amount of people as they rode the tourists.  Several deaths amounted, but these donkeys hadn't given much care anymore.  They now were set on wanting out.  Perhaps there lied freedom to do whatever they could-- or even paradise.  As each had accomplished what was told of them, the donkeys began to leap over the fence.  Surprising enough, each donkey that had kicked and injured and killed the five or more tourists had leapt that fence with very little difficulty.  In single file, each would see what the other side had beheld.  Little did these donkeys knew that over that fence was a very steep cliff.

Counterculture part 2

      Let's go into theological law here for a second.  In a typical Christian church, there are twelve laws that all have to try to follow:

• Let God be your top priority (Exodus 20:3).
• Idolatry is very bad (Exodus 20:4).
• Deity is not to be mocked (Exodus 20:7).
• Worship God on the Sabbath (Exodus 20.8)
• Respect your parents (Exodus 20.12).
• Don't kill (Exodus 20:13).
• Don't canoodle with a woman that isn't your wife (Exodus 20:14).
• Thievery is condoned (Exodus 20:15).
• Lying is not good (Exodus 20:16).
• Acting upon jealousy is a sin (Exodus 20.17).
• Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind (Matthew 22:37).
• Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (Matthew 22:39).

     Yet most people don't seem to follow them as well as they can.  Many other Abrahamic religions such as Judaism and Islam have a book of laws (i.e. Talmud and Sharia respectively) that govern life so that one can live to be the best Jewish person or the best Muslim person God may want them to live.  There are rules and aphorisms for many of us to think about and apply to our own lives-- to be the decent human beings that we are.

     "Bigoted."
  
     "Chauvinistic pigs."
  
   "Narrow-minded."

     People come to disrespect the law-- other religions' laws.  Many become ashamed of their faiths and go down the deep end toward disillusionment.  Intolerance is a culture molded from a deep misunderstanding of one's own faith.  Many give up the faith after not being up to par with the laws in place and the people who slander them.

     Anarchy.  This religion-lacking population topples down the theological laws that have been put in place since the dawn of time-- a set of laws that each faith believes have been set by God Himself that cannot be compromised.  With that comes a contrast in "conservatism" and then "reform" flourishes**.

     As democracy is slowly filled with these secular men and women, there is much neglect in the theological laws that are put into place and the laws voted upon by the people are mostly those to advance those without such goals to benefit mankind-- sure, it may look like it, but the strife too often see among the religionists and the seculars result in a stalemate or an unappeasing compromise. For both sides.  Therefore, this low tolerance leads to a degradation of the purpose of democracy in the first place-- productivity goes down the drain and bickering jumps to uncomfortable proportions.

     Without applied theological law, socio-ethical law begins to weather away, as its foundation came from the very laws God has given us.

     When the people care more about their rights than their responsibilities, then you know that we're in trouble.

     See this pattern today?  Scared?  Angry?  Guilty?

     Here in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we do believe, like any other religious denomination, the belief that obedience [to God] will bring blessings regardless of its outcome.  It's a hard thing to do, but it's do-able.  We have the choice between doing so and reaping the long-term rewards thereafter or not doing so and suffering the consequences.

     Now, God doesn't expect us to follow ALL His commandments at once, but He asks us to improve each passing day.

     "Exact obedience means trying your best," I heard someone say.  It's true.  Because we're not perfect, every day is a learning and improving experience!

     "To be religious in this day and age means you have to sacrifice a lot of freedom and be persecuted by all the intellectuals out in the world," I hear.

     I'd like to take the example of one thing that Jesus pointed out to do-- a LOT.  That is to "love thy neighbor."   Regardless of situation or background, this is the one thing that is universally preached by all religionists.  It's hard to love people* who have wronged you and are different from you; however, it's possible.  Done properly, even if the other party may not be particularly fond of you, you will find that optimism and hope springs forth from a world filled with cynicism.

     I say that a lot-- that the world is cynical and mean, but it doesn't all have to be if we can go back to our roots!  Without religion, the world will not be able to function correctly.  Without pure Christianity, the world will not be as bent in loving others but loving the individual.

     The world* isn't a perfect place by far; it doesn't have to be.  We just need to make the choice to obey what God has instructed us to do.  This law is more universal than anything political-- those come and go, but God's law stays the same.  It has been given to us in this imperfect state that we may find joy-- not immediately, but over time.  To obey the [celestial] law in an ideal world means having utopia on Earth.  To obey the [celestial] law in an imperfect world means being that much closer to having utopia in the soul.



 *: "the world" and the general term for "people" refers to an assumption to mean citizens of the United States of America.  Much other parts of the world is unknown in the perspective of this peculiar person due to a lack of information, therefore not much argument or support can be backed up for them and their situation.
**: I do believe that many civil reforms were necessary for the advancement of society (e.g. the civil rights movement, the child labor reformation, the Catholic reformation (excluding the Inquisition), and many more.)

I may not be as informed as the majority of the American population about current events, but this opinion has arose from what I have seen over the days.

Human Nature (Digression)

     If you challenge someone like an atheist to live life without faith as your motivation for hope-- without depending on the knowledge that you'll go someplace else after you die, they'll definitely take it.  However, I say to that accepter of that challenge that he is completely nuts.  He already has a seed somewhere in his heart of a particular faith.  He turned atheist because he just wasn't satisfied with religion.  That in and of itself is a faith with its own set of rules and principles.

     Religion--faith-- is a weird yet very necessary thing.  Even in the dawn of time, man has had religion.  We humans are very peculiar creatures who rely on a very invisible entity to guide and direct us.  We are a social animal.  We are also a worshipping animal.  Evidently, it's in our nature to have religion, whatever it may be. 

     When you have it in your mind, even if it's just the remotest little knowledge of faith, life becomes bearable and hope can be seen.  Even if you're Hindu, Moslem, Wiccan, or anything else that involves a belief in something that cannot be seen, there's always a doctrine tied to a certain one of those creeds.  Those creeds enable us to see what is beyond the biotic life that we live right now.  It also enables us to be the type of people who don't have to succumb to the urges and yearnings of our body.  Taboos and cultural customs all have developed as a result of religion.

     If there happens to be a time in your life where you lost a loved one, got divorced, or something traumatic and painful, you need more than something physical to rely on.  Sure, you have your therapist and your drugs, but there comes a point in your life where you need more than things/people you can hold in your hands.  You need some of that invisible good stuff that can heal your aching soul.  Faith, no matter how significant and no matter how unknown, is ingrained deep inside the human soul. 

     Despair brings out a side of you that needs worship; a hope that a power much greater than you will correct your wrongs and continue your existence.  It enables also the hope that your significant other may be alright and that restitution may be possible on your part.  There will be a time in your life where such feelings will exist (if it hasn't already).  Life is tough and it requires more than just what you can see and touch.  Belief.  It's absolutely instrumental.

     I strongly believe in the inherent power of belief.  It has gotten me through the thick of life.  With a spiritual foundation in something that cannot be seen but feel, the confirmations of truth burning at the bosom have never felt so real.  On multiple occasions, there have been times where a warm feeling has overcome my soul, telling me that all will be well-- civility will rule over an uncivilized world.  This wasn't something I could explain, but I just knew that the feeling from such belief in such came from something much higher than me.  Without anything to hold on to, without a moral compass to guide you on your way, we are no better than animals.  We are no better than the actions we commit.

     So no matter who you are and what your background is, you're going to have to put faith in something to get you through the trials of life.  From God to wealth, it's all there for you to believe in.  However, a belief in God, the Eternal Father of our souls will get you farther in life than you've ever dreamed of.  We have Jesus Christ and also Joseph Smith to thank for that.