"Strangers in the night"

     The sun fallen asunder, the kids on the bleachers are talking to each other, telling them what they're going to do after this event is over. The gunshot is heard every five minutes and six kids scurry along the lined, rubber road-- seeing who can get to the other side the fastest. While the bulk of the kids were sitting on the bleachers, enjoying the scenery of their friends running past another, there are a certain few kids, behind the concession stand not too far away-- all are excited, but one in particular, having come back from the Sonora valley not even 24 hours ago, has a special sort of excitement pumping in his veins. Through months of preparation, a bouquet was selected, a team was assembled, and a time was set to make the event into a spectacle. As the cold, colorful paint is slathered on the chests and backs of six individuals, it brings about chills of anticipation; raising goosebumps of anxiety. The time is come; the all of them from back there walk up the stretch of orange rubber, where they take their places. Legs warmed in place, a loud "set" is brought forth from a rotund man holding a gun, way up high. The gunshot leads a series of kids forward, foot by foot, trodding down the circular road. Minute after minute, the shiny blue stick is grasped by the hands of those preparing to run another lap.

There seems to be an "I" in teamwork.

      The last man in the group crosses the white line, eons ahead of the rest of the kids-- waiting patiently for the rest of those kids to cross. Once all have crossed, the shirts come off, revealing a giant "ELENI" formed upon the chests of five of the group. Catching the attention of all on the bleachers, the group then turns around, revealing a giant "PROM?" slathered on their backs. A rather anticipating silence overcomes the crowd and the one called such speaks up, orating a humble confirmation.

...and an "M" in me.

     As a high schooler two years ago, the whole thing with prom-posals takes a lot of time and effort to prepare and execute. When the person actually pops the question, though, the answer of the recipient means more than the whole time it took to prepare for it. However, once they have said yes, is it over? Not really. There's dinner you have to attend to-- with the other person. And a group, if you wish. It's a long process took picking out what to wear, what the other person is going to wear, what mode of transportation you're going to be in, what corsage/boutonnière you're going to pick, what flower combination you're going to pick, and how much you're going to spend, and so much more. To get to actual prom, it takes more than just asking the person to get to prom.

     Let's look at joining the church. Is your journey to spiritual enlightenment simply over after baptism? Will the path be easy toward the pearly gates which God hath prepared for us?  No. There are so many things you have to do to get to God. Sad to say, once you start believing, it's not as easy as that.  Faith will be tested.  Hypocrisy will be seen.  Opposition will exist.

     A common comparison that can be made is like entering a gate.  That gate is baptism.  Then, there's a trail past the gate that leads to all sorts of twists and turns of a road, stone, gravel, mulch, mud, angry dogs, people with pitchforks, detours, barbed wire, and all sorts things in your way.  It's when you get through all that, scarred, but alive, when the spiritual enlightenment can truly be made manifest.

     As Fred Rogers said in his book, "there is no normal life that is free of pain.  It is the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth."  We have to put forth our greatest efforts to be with God again. In the words of one of our church leaders, "salvation wasn't a cheap experience...salvation was never easy." So being a church member is.  It's relatively easy to be a member; all you need to do is believe in the restored truth and get baptised, but to press forward in the faith will be a trial that will be that impetus for our growth.

     As we look to the covenants we have (or want to make) with God, we have to always remember that it's not over after just a simple event. Press forward with faith and endure to the end. It's going to
be a rough, but definitely worthwhile ride.

Be Prepared!

     After enjoying a nice, light breakfast consisting of a scoop of oatmeal drizzled with agave nectar, organic of course, and some cinnamon, I button up my dress shirt; tuck it in my slacks; fasten my belt; knot up my tie; and fasten on that name tag.  It's very typical that every missionary do the same (except for the breakfast).  Routinely going about, conducting such a ritual, I was reminded of a verse in Paul's epistle to the Ephesians.  In chapter 6, it mentions how the church members in the Ephesus are to protect themselves from the woes of the world by putting on some protective items of clothing (reworded for easier understanding).

• Underpants of truth (Ephesians 6:14)
• Breastplate of righteousness (Ephesians 6:14)
• Sandals of the gospel (Ephesians 6:15)
• Shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16)
• Helmet of salvation (Ephesians 6:17)
• Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17)

     With these pieces of clothing-- and some tools-- God had instructed Paul to instruct these church members with such preparation so that no evil can prevail against them.  While these things are worn, it gives a great promise that one's "utterance may be given that I (not just Paul, but us all) may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel" (Ephesians 6:19).  The fiery darts cannot penetrate your being as you have on God's armor.

     Clipping the nametag in place, it dawned on me that I needed to consider these things that are in my spiritual wardrobe.  Sure, I have a weapon in there, but it's there to pierce the soul to the convincing and undeniable evidence that Jesus is the Christ.

Nothing more.

• We need to wax strong in virtue as it girds our loins.
• We need to let our light shine from our bosoms.
• We need to walk the gospel path-- the path Jesus and His disciples walked.
• We need to block evil and persecution with the faith and testimony in which we possess.
• We need to constantly know and treasure up in our minds that salvation cometh through the Holy Messiah.
• We need to strike others so that they may know the truths in which we believe through the power of the Holy Ghost.

     For us all, Satan lurks in every corner and evil lies in wait-- wanting an opportunity to pounce on you, taking you over so that you can no longer return to God.  A motley crew of attire lies in wait, waiting to be used so that you can defend yourself from his minions it is your 1 Thessalonians 5:22.  Don't think much of the adversity-- just know that you'll be okay if you have everything on while you do your thing.

"Treat Your Mother Right"

     Mother's day is coming up.  This means these next 2 days, men everywhere will be flocking to Hallmarks and grocery stores everywhere to grab what remaining flowers and sentimental cards there are.  For good reason, there's something extremely thankful for as we celebrate this day of maternal gratitude.

     In the minds of many adolescents and even a few adults (sadly), they believe that a mother plays a very restricted role in the play that is family life.  The common misconception that many believe the mother does in the household are this:

• Make [the male household inhabitants] popular lunch foods consisting of deli meats and vegetables enclosed with two slices of white bread
• Relegate themselves to menial chores around the house at the whim of the husband
• Make a living hell out of looking after [a few] kids
• Emphasize the inferiority of the female race as a caretaker of children rather than a successful woman out and about winning the bread for the family
• Inhuman items of display fettered to the household, waiting to be fed while the man of the household exhibits such "object" to guests and acquaintances, waiting for praise and accomplishment

     It sounds very far-fetched, but believe it or not, many people still hold these notions true-- that mothers who stay at home to take care of the kids are in a very, very low position in the household ranks.  While many women had thought the same thing-- that motherhood is a burden rather than a blessing-- they have taken themselves the liberty to go out and work until they've become the successful businesswomen that they've become, but reach an age where child-rearing and family relationships aren't really options anymore.



If Jesus didn't have Mary in His life, I doubt He would have

become the person He turned out to be-- God probably knew

that a long time ago.

     Feminism, especially its influence in the role of the mother, has become a greater and greater part of my life.  I think after I joined the Church, I've become more devoted to the cause of such.  It may not be necessarily in the way that Ellen Willis or Kate Chopin envisioned feminism, but I feel as if women aren't given enough credit in life.  Women are amazing people capable of touching the hearts of all people, both men and other women.  It seems like empathy and sympathy are in their nature; they know when people need what and why.  Sad to say, us men are very tunnel-visioned beings.  We like to think inside the box most of the times and it frustrates a lot of people.  If we're told to do something, we go from point A to point B.  No exceptions.  Mission accomplished.  Women, on the other hand, don't go from point A to point B, but hit points C-Z and then B-- this way, the person giving the instruction doesn't have to give any more instruction to the woman while the instructor has to tell the man at least 25 more times to get all the way to point Z.

     Women are initiative-driven people, independent of a higher plane of thought than men and I think this is so direly important in the roles that they play in the household.  Bestowed with such a gift, they are of the two, the most capable of rearing a child-- a man can definitely raise a child well, but it's the women who go above and beyond to have that child succeed.  A herculean task in and of itself-- a job harder than any other job that one can do-- it is up to the woman to do such.  There's no one better who can nurture, teach, care, and love a child as well as a mother.  In a family though, father = mother.

“There is no limit to what a mother can accomplish. Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so.” -Julie B. Beck

     This coming Mother's day, love your mother; you really love her.  To all of us.  If the world didn't have any of them, how wayward a great big portion of us would be!  Because of them, sacrificing their time, talent, and sanity, we are who we are.  Seriously.  Mothers-- women-- are so amazing that it kind of confuses me how much more superior they are to men (in terms of everything practical-- when it comes to manly-man stuff, like wrestling bears and chopping down large oak trees, there may be some contention).  Remember that in most cases, it'll be the mother who will know when you need your space and it'll be the mother who will know when you'll need a comic book and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich whenever you're feeling blue.  Jesus' mother raised Him right.  Imagine if Joseph had to raise Jesus.

Save our Ship!

     From a less-than-regional-wide church meeting some many Sundays ago, this anecdote stuck out to me as I pondered my purpose as a missionary:

     A nighttime tempest raging in the high seas, the winds and waves dancing together in furious passion, a time-tested tugboat lay in its midst.  Helpless to the whim of nature, the captain of a crew of 15 radios the coast guard and the navy-- a desperate SOS. 

Mayday

     Received, the nearest coast guard ship hears of the distress.  Some guardsmen respond with urgency and selflessness, willing to risk their own lives in the peril of the storm to save these boatsmen.  The ship captain responds to these acts of valor with a denial of request-- a plan of sorts has to be mapped out before saving these souls.  The storm still raging, the coast guardsmen radio the nearest naval detachment for more instruction.  Told to wait until they have a sound plan for a rescue, the guardsmen obey, the tugboat deteriorating.
     Delayed due to complications and no sound plan, the rescue is not executed until late dawn the following day.  The storm quelled, the search and rescue team heads out to find what is left of the tugboat crew.  At the coordinates of the SOS, the team sees the remains of what was the tugboat,  now just floating debris of aluminum.  Of the sixteen, not a single one was found, even around a 2-mile radius.  The coast guardsmen put off the rescue until it was too late.

     What we can learn from this is that sudden tempestuous situations can hit us at any time.  Salvation may be just a [few miles] away.  However, we cannot delay the salvation of others, as they look up for help and understanding.  The time will pass and these souls will be lost.  As every soul is precious in the eyes of God, there cannot be an opportunity passed where these people may be saved.

No News is Good News

     Approaching each and every doorstep with a dark tan messenger bag at the shoulder, the arm extended and the hand rose up, clenching a fist, lightly rapping the door.  With each raise, the hand had become heavier and heavier.  It was quivering toward the end of each day, wondering if it would want to be raised again.  The words of many behind each door had penetrated the center of where that hand come from-- the acerbity of each voice-- Spanish, Vietnamese, Korean, Chinese-- had wounded the soul inasmuch so that it was harder and harder for the hand to do what it did.  The time had gone by, but the wounds of the words still remained.  Many more piercing prose, ripping open each and every sutured scar.

     The mundaneness of knocking door after door can test the resolve of any missionary resorted to such a task, but I honestly see it as a fun way to find people to teach.  Rejection comes at every corner, but that can easily be brushed off.  Many times, the people may not be Korean or may not even be at home.  As stressful as it is, I still enjoyed knocking-- you meet a ton of interesting people and perhaps you can even teach a couple of things about your church to them!

안녕하세요!

     Lately, though, I've been very weary of knocking doors.  It isn't because of the rejection and it isn't about the lack of Korean people.  Rather, it was the people who listened to us-- the people who were willing to care for what we had to say.  Precisely these people have made me not want to knock on doors.  The people who were willing to hear us out-- the majority of them had disclosed to us that they were either diagnosed or didn't have much time left due to a terminal illness.  On top of that, these people living in the city of Garden Grove, aren't the most well-off people in the world.  These are relatively young people; they still had their lives to live, but that skeletal hand had reached for those shears, soon to break their threads.

     Each time my companion and I plan on going door to door, I hear myself say "no more."  My mind and my physical self was ready to go out and preach, but my heart was sore; it pleaded that I don't open those sutures that I've worked so hard to sew.  "Anything but talking to those people."  It seriously wasn't easy for me to do go out and work-- there was a trail of tears leaving each doorstep whenever I did.

     Midst such, there's still a fire burning-- as much as I don't want to go door-to-door fearing such people may make themselves known unto us, there's a reason why such people were placed there.  Sure, it may just be coincidence, but this coincidence can lead to a blessing beyond imagination.  These people need what we have.  The very essence of what we teach is about reassurance.  Sure, it's sad to hear such, but recently, I've discovered that the help we can provide is even greater than the trials these people have to go through.  The gospel isn't called "good news" for nothing.  I can tell you now that stepping out of that apartment door, I have this in mind, desiring that people can find solace.  It's not an easy task, seeing so much suffering, but through each suffering soul is reason to rejoice.

    

That's the Bee's Knees!

Ouch.

     While in high school, when I didn't do hockey, I was running-- a perfect combination of aerobic and anaerobic exercise if done properly.  Doing so, I had to cope with what was commonly known to runners and doctors as "Osgood-Schlatter's disease."  It sounds scary and painful (yes, it hurt pretty bad at times), but in short, it's a knee condition where bone plates (tibertuberosity) stick out of where they usually were to make room for the rest of your knee bones closest to your shin to grow and develop.  At times, I would complain to my coach and I would complain to my physical trainer about the sharp pain.  Through it, I would avoid running as much as possible because it hurt so much.  It got to the point where it hurt so much that I was thinking about quitting sports altogether.  Running through it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world, but the biggest assurance that I got from the doctors was that it was only temporary; it would enable me to become [taller] than I was before.

     In sports and also in life, there are many occasions where we may think, "oh crap, a challenge."  Once we see such, it may get worse and worse until we get to the point where we want to give up.  Bluntly speaking, life sucks.  .  For the most parts, it really isn't the funnest thing in the world.  Paradoxically, the reasons why it sucks makes it beautiful.  From it, there are going to be times when for even a brief second, the problems will be gone and we can cherish what matters to us.  In one challenge and another, we know that they are temporary and are for our own good.  The adversity we face can cripple us where it matters most-- for a time.  It may not look like we can bear such a difficulty, but time will pass and we will succeed, keeping such experience handy in the fountain of our knowledge.  The joint will heal and make way for even further growth until we are complete.  Remember that everything here in Earth is only temporary-- our problems are more temporary, quicker-lasting than the happiness we will receive both here and in heaven.

     Life thought about in the temporal sense will only bring us pessimism, however, if it is thought in an eternal perspective, the fact that once we pass on, we will be resurrected with perfected bodies and see our families again and live on forever with God, there's an old saying in one of the Church's hymns: "all is well, all is well."

The Quaking Within

Many people struggle with the fact that they may be members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but not really have a strong witness of its truth.

• Joseph Smith is a prophet, seer, and revelator.
• The book of Doctrine and Covenants are continued revelation of God to His servant(s).
• The Book of Mormon is actually another testament of Jesus Christ in the Americas.
• [Write current Church President Here] is a living prophet, guiding us today.
• God and Jesus Christ live.
• We are all spirit sons and daughters of a perfect, immortal heavenly Father.
• The Atonement of Christ enables us that opportunity to live with God again in heaven.

It's really hard that many, even other Christians, have to deal with the fact that their discipleship to Christ isn't as easy as one may expect.  Many sacrifices are made and many are shunned, frowned upon, and more or less disliked for their convictions.  It leads to the fact that one questions his or herself.

Planting the seed of cynicism

Personally, I have gone through a very similar trial not too long ago.  A bit after I first came out to California, there was an Iago-esque voice that would whisper to me a question: "what do you believe?"  While I was still rather fresh as a missionary and even before that, I had a strong confirmation that I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ and its restoration-- through it, I had a lot of things going for me.  Life was more or less pretty awesome as a missionary.

Slowly, though, this idea was aurally impregnated and grew.  The birthchild was that of doubt and question that arose in my mind-- missionaries are no exceptions to the fact that their faith will be tested.  I couldn't respond correctly to the questions of potential converts, both in English and Korean.  I couldn't testify, even if I wanted to.  I worked as hard as I could, obeying all that God and my mission president* asked me to do, but I had a feeling that something was missing-- something direly important.  The little whispers gravely wounded the mouth of the still small voice.

Alarmed, I was praying to my Father in Heaven about how this came to be-- not too long ago, my faith was burning like a wildfire, consuming sin and iniquity in its path (a bit exaggerated:P).  Now, it seemed as if I was a husk of a harborer that the Lord wanted me to be-- the Holy Ghost wasn't very strong, if at all, and my mouth was confounded before everyone.  Honestly, I felt like my time to return home had come-- my faith was cut down by the world and I felt like with what little remained, I could do much good at home, advising and counseling those who had similar problems.

A simple talk with a friend and a renewed sense of urgency to teach and learn later, I studied the Bible and the talks from General Conference as much as a missionary could during his free time.  There was never anything that really hit me as did the 24th verse in the 9th chapter in the book of Mark: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."  I knew that this Church had so much good in it, but the powers of disillusionment and darkness were seeping into my soul.  With prayer and study to rekindle the once strong faith, I still have yet to find a strong, spiritual witness-- I did hope.  How else was I to do the work without a strong conviction?

To be quite frank, sure the resources that the church has were pretty awesome when it came to just studying up a firmer foundation of knowledge and assurance, but the real battle, the conflict in my head, was still raging.  The belligerent wasn't going to give up with a few good reads.  In several weeks' time, though, I came across a rather unexpected piece of literature-- it wasn't a Bible nor was it a thing of all the church leaders' sermons in a single anthology.  No, it was a manual.  It was a manual that pretty much told you what you needed to do to be a contributing member of society.  To me, it was just the most interesting thing in the world compared to everything I've been reading lately, I finished it within a few days and started applying a lot of those principles in my own life.  A small but noticeable flame emerging from my chest.  A desire to go out and do was blossoming.

Sunday came rolling along.  Church was over, and I swapped companions for the rest of that day.  With this missionary, we were heading up to the hilltops of Anaheim to see an Easter Devotional 20 or so miles away from church.  While driving up, we were talking and it seems like this missionary was going through a rather difficult time with his actual companion-- I really wished I could tell him what to do, but all I could do was understand-- this same companion was mine not too long ago.  So kind of in a really distraught state of mind, this missionary didn't want to quite go into the Devotional with the face that he was conveying.  So, we talked some more in the car, me pretty much telling him things that he already seemed to know (him being 6 years my age), and ended with a prayer of solace.

Gilbert Arizona Temple

Through that prayer, there was a voice kind of mashing incoherent words together until an understandable phrase uttered out of my mouth: "is your desire [to serve the Lord, continue my mission, turn that frown upside down, act upon the diligence and testimony of the church] stronger than your current problem?"  In that little instant, my mind flashed to several things: the day I was confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  The day I beheld an LDS temple for the first time.  The day I heard the announcement that enabled me to go on my mission the time I decided to go.  These memories hit me with a lucidity so clear that I felt as if I was walloped by an invisible force-- the Holy Spirit.  I could not deny the feelings I had in each instance.  They were real.  The burning in my chest grew back into the wildfire I've known it before.  It was simply amazing the feeling I had back.  With such a force, I couldn't not deny the truth of what the Church was teaching.

With that in mind, here I am.  I have a desire to serve in a greater capacity than ever before.  From such a trying experience, the lesson I learned was that it's up to God whether or not He wants you to know the things that you know, even if you come seeking.  The thing is, if you want to come to know the truth that you have questioned all this time, it won't just come through prayer-- sure it helps. but it's the diligence of treasuring up the Words of God and acting upon it that will ultimately fuel spiritual growth.  God'll answer your prayer only if you act upon what you desire.  For me, that was cracking the Bible every day and just trying to understand what it could offer me.  It turned out that God had led me to that manual.

I have a spiritual witness of the divinity of the work.  Through it and the truth that can be bestowed, we can all find happiness.  Mormons are always happy for a reason-- it isn't just a rumor.